I Will Never Recover From Zac Efron With a 1970s Pornstache

There are few things I love more than a man with a solid mustache. If you look like Tom Selleck in the 1970s, I'd probably follow you to the end of the Earth. My obsession is so deep, it's become a joke among my friends — every time someone with one walks by, everyone turns to stare at me and wait for my reaction. I also really, really love Zac Efron. He's been a heartthrob to my entire generation for more than a decade, so how could I not? Combine those two things, and I've got my own personalized recipe for disaster.

Yeah, that's right: Zac Efron is now the proud owner of a mustache. It's thick, it's dark, and it's probably softer than a silk pillowcase. To my disappointment, this is a work 'stache and not a just-for-fun 'stache — he grew it for the upcoming film The Greatest Beer Run Ever, in which he'll star alongside Bill Murray and Russell Crowe (just two up-and-coming actors, you know. It's casual). 

Though many movie mustaches are faked with lace-fronts, makeup, and sometimes even CGI (lest we forget the Henry Cavill/Justice League debacle), something in my gut tells me that this one is 100 percent real. We all know Efron can grow one formidable beard, and in all honesty, I'd find it heartbreaking to discover that he didn't want to commit to a flavor saver for real. 

Real or fake, one thing's for sure: I'll never look at Efron the same way again. Zac, if you're reading this: Keep it? Please? For me? 

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