Hilaria Baldwin is reflecting on the impact her unborn child left on her life before her miscarriage.
Two weeks after she underwent a dilation and curettage procedure following her confirmation the previous day that she had miscarried, the mother of four shared a heartbreaking message on Instagram alongside a video showing an early ultrasound of her baby.
“Since so many of you have been asking, I want to tell you that I am doing well,” Hilaria, 35, began her touching caption on Wednesday. “It has been 2 weeks since the d&c and I am physically starting to feel like myself again. Emotionally I am ok too … when we choose to become parents, we take a big risk with our hearts. Never do we love so intensely — and this is scary, but so worth it.”
Hilaria and husband Alec Baldwin share daughter Carmen Gabriela, 5½, and sons Romeo Alejandro David, 11 months, Leonardo Ángel Charles, 2½, and Rafael Thomas, 3½. Alec, 61, is also dad to 23-year-old daughter Ireland.
“This time, when I opened my heart up to another baby, he or she didn’t stay very long,” she went on. “But I love this little soul deeply and wholly. We all have a purpose in life, and I believe my little one left positivity in [its] short life.”
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The fitness instructor explained she “felt a deep provocation to share what was going on” and reveals that she found “in being so open, some great conversations emerged” through the tragedy.
“Creating a positive from a negative, this little flicker of life left [its] mark. This is an issue that so many suffer with in silence … because those are the rules we follow,” Hilaria wrote. “As I have said to so many: this experience wasn’t just about me and my journey, it is about anyone, perhaps you, or someone you know, who has suffered from a loss.”
“It is about continuing a conversation, knowing we need not have shame or fear … so that we can heal … and those who will unfortunately follow will have a community to turn to,” she added. “I came forward to share and create a spark … please help me turn this spark into a lasting flame ?.”
Hilaria went on to tell her followers a little bit about the video: her baby’s “first sonogram” before she and her husband “could see and hear the heart,” calling out a “flicker” in the lower left corner.
“I don’t have a video of the heartbeat we witnessed a few times before it stopped … I want to share this because I feel like this little soul was mighty in the wave it provoked ?,” she noted.
On April 9, Hilaria confirmed she had lost her baby, days after revealing that she was “likely” suffering a miscarriage. Her unborn child showed no signs of a heartbeat after an ultrasound tech had observed a slower-than-normal heart rate the previous week.
Though upset by the news, Hilaria chose to focus on the positive side of things in her life — namely, her husband and their four children together.
“There was no heartbeat today at my scan … so it’s over … ” she captioned the sad post, featuring a photo with her family. “But I have some pretty strong and amazing heartbeats right here.”
“I am surrounded by such love and I feel so fortunate,” Hilaria continued. “Thank you all for listening, for your support, and for sharing your own personal stories. We are stronger together …”
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Four days after her D&C surgery, the yoga instructor revealed that she was slowly but surely easing back into her fitness routines taking extra caution with her healing body.
“I’m being super gentle with my body right now, considering what it has just been through … but I start getting stiff and uncomfortable due to lack of my typical movement,” Hilaria wrote.
In the short clip, she performed a variety of stretches in what appeared to be her living room, while daughter Carmen briefly popped her head into the frame.
“Here are some light stretches I turned to today that have helped me, while sticking with my recovery. They feel good and I think you may like them too,” she added.
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