Bekah Martinez Talks Overcoming 'Dark' Postpartum Mindset, Pressures of Being the 'Perfect Mom'
Bekah Martinez is taking the highs and lows of parenthood in stride.
The 26-year-old Bachelor alum is mom to daughter Ruth Ray De La Luz, 2, and 8-month-old son Franklin James, and as she tells Parents Latina for the magazine's April/May 2021 issue, the pressures to be a "perfect mom" are insurmountable.
Martinez, who shares her children with boyfriend Grayston Leonard, speaks on the "pressures we put on ourselves," saying, "We have so many standards for being the perfect mom. I try to be aware of that and then force myself to confront those expectations."
The Chatty Broads podcast host also opens up about seeking therapy after experiencing "dark thoughts" after giving birth, as well as a lack of sleep after welcoming a second baby so soon after her first.
"As a kid, I had a lot of undiagnosed anxiety and obsessive-compulsive issues, but I grew up in a household that stigmatized mental illness," says Martinez. "I thought that admitting I needed help showed weakness. But I learned from experience that becoming a mom can definitely take a toll on your well-being, especially during the postpartum period."
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Bekah Martinez Says She 'Constantly' Feels 'Ashamed' About Time Spent on Phone 'Around My Babies'
"In my case," she continues, "I started having dark thoughts, obsessing about the dangers of the world and the vulnerability of my own children. All this was compounded by the severe sleep deprivation from having two babies just 16 months apart."
"It was excruciating," says Martinez, "and got better only once I became open to therapy."
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The mom of two is quick to highlight the joy she finds in parenthood, particularly the boost she gets when she sees her kids are happy.
"When you're a parent, you'll go to the ends of the earth to make your kids smile," she says. "Grayston will gladly sing 'Let It Go,' from Frozen. I love the song 'Shiny,' from Moana. I always do a whole performance as a crab and get really into character. Forget trying to be cool — nothing makes you happier than seeing your children happy."
If you or someone you know need mental health help, text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 to be connected to a certified crisis counselor.
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